A feel good story

This has been a long week for both Adam and I. After realizing that I needed a post for today I ran across this story on facebook. A mom who chose life for her daughter granted not in a way that anyone would prefer but she chose life.

Enjoy the story and have great Memorial Day Weekend.

Now for something completely different

During this process Adam & I have looked to you to donate money to our adoption fund and many of you have by buying Adam's Book. Thank you so much for that.

Last weekend I was reading a post in a Facebook group that I belong to where someone asked how do I increase my income. Many different viable options were offered and that is when it occurred to me that the best way to find work is to network.  Someone must know of jobs out there that I can apply for, or know of someone looking for employees.  All of the money that I make will go towards our adoption fund.  I'm applying for jobs right now and hoping to get something soon.  But if anyone knows of anything please let me know.

Misconceptions about Open Adoption

As Adam and I go further in the adoption process we are answering questions about what open-adoption actually is and how does it work. Whenever I want to define something I start with a definition. Dictionary.com has a good definition "open adoption is arrangement in which contact is maintained or allowed between a child's adoptive and biological parents." Keep in mind that every case is different and contact will vary.

The only thing missing from every definition that I found was love. All I could sense was fear: will the child know who my real parents are; will the child understand the difference; will the child suffer because of open-adoption.  The answer to all of the questions revolves around love.

The adoptive parents are the real parents. They are the parents that are around the child everyday; they are the parents that help them when things go wrong and celebrate when things go right; they are the parents that are cheering at little league games. The birth-parents are important because they can help a child understand why they have brown eyes when mom and dad don't.

My favorite: will the child suffer or be teased because of being adopted? Will my child suffer, not if I can help it. I always want to question someone who says that a child will suffer because of open adoption? What will the child suffer from? The answer is usually: not knowing who the real parents are? My answer to them: We are the real parents. With a strong open adoption the child will know the birth parents.  But most of all a child can not have too much love and that is what adoption equals.

Adam and I have decided that our child will be raised with love, honor, integrity, honesty and courage. Hate is something that has to be taught the default is love. When you raise a child with love that is what the child will seek out in life.

The only that I can say is when you chose open adoption you chose to give someone the gift of raising your child. There is a perception that the birth-parent can say: Thanks for raising junior for the past six years but I want him back now. That is not true I don't know about all 50 states but in Oregon an adoption is final when the papers are signed. The birth-parents can change their mind until those papers are signed but once they are signed it is done. I find it astounding that someone would believe that it would be okay to give me a child and then take it back years later just because they could. I am so thankful for the laws that do not allow that.

As I am typing this I am reminded of a quote by Martin Luther King Jr who said: "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." When we shine a light on open-adoption then and only then will the fear go away.  Along with telling our story of adoption it is our goal to shine a light where there is no light and drive the fear of open-adoption out.

News

Adam and I have registered with Adopt Together which is a fundraising site that just works with those who are adopting.  One important note about contributions, donations can be marked as anonymous or private if the donor chooses.  Either way we thank you for your generosity.

In other exciting news, this afternoon Adam and I had an interview with a reporter from the Forest Grove Leader who is working on a story about adoption. It was an enjoyable experience and I can't wait to read the article. She is interviewing other couples about adoption and will be meeting with us again.

Choose Life, Choose Adoption

An interesting thing about human nature.  People will follow the rules until they run across one that they don't believe in.  You can pass and enact all the laws in the world, but if people don't agree with them, they won't follow them.  The only real way to get people to follow what you are trying to change is to change people's attitudes and beliefs.

An example of this is abortion.  Currently there are few restrictions on abortion as opposed to many years ago when there were many more laws restricting the act.  This has created lots of debate about whether or not how much or how little should abortion be allowed.  But one point is constantly missed, no one believes that abortion is a good thing.  There may be argument over whether or not it is necessary, but no one embarrasses it as a positive thing.

No woman has ever found out that she was pregnant and with great excitement decided how terrific it is to now go and get an abortion.  No sane woman that is.  I cannot imagine what the thought process is and what emotions and feelings a woman has when she finds out she is pregnant.  If a woman has made up her mind to have an abortion, no laws will stop her if that is what she wants.

A better solution than trying to repeal or pass more laws is to change people's mindset.  If adoption is promoted as an alternative to abortion, there is a chance that the mother may not abort her child.  Through education and promoting a choice of allowing your child to be placed with a loving family, more women my opt for adoption.  The most common reason why women consider abortion is that they don't believe they will be able to raise their child.  Showing them that open adoption works and that their child will not disappear after she gives birth may help them change their mindset about abortion.

As a society we need to promote adoption as another way for people to have a family or expand their family.  When we removed the negative stigma of adoption it will become a viable solution for an unwanted pregnancy.  This will not work in all circumstances, but for every child that is adopted is one less that is aborted.  This is how we can change the mindset of abortion one pregnancy at a time.

You may ask is this a concept that everyone can get behind?  I truly believe so.  If you are pro-life then you would support open adoption to help save the life of the child.  If you are pro-choice you would support open adoption since the child will have a loving family and it doesn't force the birth mother to raise a child she wouldn't have been able to.  Solutions are forged when common ground is found between two conflicting beliefs.  In the case of abortion the solution is open adoption.

Adoption and The Oscars

Many of you may know in my spare time I also write a blog about movies called The Academy Award Project. The original goal was to see every film that had won best picture. Along the way I decided that some of these films were not that good and wondered how did they win? So I started to watch the films nominated for best picture and then would compare them against the film that won and then write about it on the blog. I have now seen all films that have won best picture and over four hundred of the nominated films to currently sit at 494 of 512.

Some of the films I have seen that were nominated have adoption as a main theme in them. Here are five that I have enjoyed and would recommend you watch them sometime if you haven't seen them already.

Blossoms In The Dust (1941) - Nominated for four awards including Best Art Direction (Color) which it won the Oscar, Best Picture, Best Cinematography and Best Actress the very talented and beautiful Greer Garson. Based on the life of Edna Gladney, although rather fictionalized, who was a board member of the Texas Children's Home and Aid Society. The film shows the negative stigma of adoption back at the turn of the 20th century and how she spends her life helping to find adoptive parents for orphans.

In real life in 1936 Edna Gladney got the Texas legislature to have the word illegitimate taken off birth certificates for adopted and abandoned children. Ten years after the film was made she helped get a bill passed that gave adopted children the same inheritance rights as biological children. Very few films are made showing adoption from the view of the agency working to place children, but this one is really done well.

Secrets & Lies (1996) - Nominated for five awards including Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actress and Best Original Screenplay. A young woman decides to find her birth mother after her adoptive mother passes away. She was born in the late 60's when adoptions were closed and even as an adult people try and talk her out of meeting her birth mother. She finds her birth mother and meets her biological family in a very intense drama.

This film is shown from the viewpoint of the adoptive child as well as the birth mother as they come to terms with ending a closed adoption as they try and form a relationship. And seeing how this film was nominated for all major awards is enough to prove that it is an exceptional movie and one you should see.

Juno (2007) - Nominated for four awards including Best Original Screenplay which it won an Oscar, Best Picture, Best Director and Best Actress. A teenage girl gets pregnant and while considering an abortion decides to carry the baby to term and seek out an adoptive parent. She finds a family that is looking for a child but agree to a closed adoption. The film then shows the rest of the pregnancy until the child is born.

Shown from the viewpoint of the birth mother but not so much from the adoptive family. It does a very good job at showing the emotional circumstances that a birth mother must go through from finding out she is pregnant to delivery. Very well acted and a simple film done well.

The Blind Side (2009) - Nominated for two awards including Best Actress which it won an Oscar for Sandra Bullock and for Best Picture. Based on the life of Michael Oher, tells the story of a teenager adopted by a wealthy family after spending years in foster homes. Because of his large physical size he plays football and while being recruited for collegiate teams runs into a problem with the NCAA accusing his adoptive family of only adopting him to go play football at their alumni. Currently Michael Oher is an offensive lineman with the Tennessee Titans.

This is shown from the adoptive child and the adoptive family viewpoints, but does show how adoption can happen even if the child is not an infant or very young. As well it shows that it is never too late to give a child love. A good enjoyable film to watch if you haven't seen it already.

Philomena (2013) - Nominated for four awards including Best Picture, Best Actress, Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Original Score. Based on the real life story of an Irish woman who held on to a secret for fifty years that she was pregnant as a young woman. Her father sent her to a Catholic Abbey where after she gave birth was forced to work for four years to pay off the cost for her stay. During that time the Abbey adopted her child to an American family and was taken to the United States without her approval. Her daughter tells this to a journalist who goes with her to America and help her find her child while he writes about her story.

Shown from the birth mother viewpoint of trying to find her child, this film once again shows that not very long ago adoption was considered a shameful thing. Hopefully in the future this will be considered an outdated philosophy that people will be confused why did it even happen. See this film when you can, it's a very powerful simple well done movie.

And make sure you check out The Academy Award Project to see what films I have seen and my rankings of them after I finish each year and decade. Soon to be expanded to Best Director!

Still waiting

It seems like we are in the hurry up and wait mode. Hurry up and raise money so that we can enter the adoption pool. But wait till the home-study is done. I know that it takes time for things to happen and that our counselor at the agency has other clients so we wait for her to finish.

While we are waiting here some random thoughts.I thought I wasn't going to write about this but have changed my mind. I read something on facebook that made me want to throw up: a woman in England is having an abortion because she wants to be on a television show and having a child would interfere with that. Are you kidding me? Maybe you should have thought about that before having sex. I can't believe that we have become a society that thinks it is okay to abort your child so that you can be on television. My hope is that she will not get to be the star that she wants to be but who knows.

My next random thought: I'm so glad that people are willing to chose adoption over abortion because that means that one day I will be a mom.

O is for open

Christiana has been participating the A to Z challenge which challenges you to write a post about each letter of the alphabet for the month of April. If you take Sunday's off that gives you 26 days. Here is the entry for O. 

O is for open. Open is a interesting word since it can be used in some many ways

1. is the store open yet?
2. what time does the library open?
3. will there be an open bar at your party?
4. what is open adoption?

The last one is the one that I want to focus on right now. My husband and I are in the middle of an open adoption which according to Wikipedia is: Open adoption is a form of adoption in which the biological and adoptive families have access to varying degrees of each other's personal information and have an option of contact. That is a good definition and one that I would support.

I have to be honest and say that sometimes people who I speak to do not understand why we would want an open adoption. Here are some of the questions and my answers.

• Won't it cause problems in the future they ask?  Nope. It is up to you to make sure that it doesn't.
• Won't the birth parents end making decision for the child? Nope. The adoptive parents are the parents and they make all decisions.  If they wish the can consult the birth parents but it is up to the adoptive parents to make the final decision.
• How will the child know who real parents are? This is the one that bothers me the most: A child's real parents are the one who loves and takes care of the child. That to me is the definition of a parent.

For more information about our adoption click this FB page: https://www.facebook.com/mayeradoption

This post first appeared on the Magic Bag of Words blog: http://wp.me/p3hOqT-3K 

Thank you

Adam using his sharpest crayon

Remember to precharge the book
before reading

Thank you to all who have bought Taste the Purple a novel by Adam Mayer. All of the proceeds of the sale go directly to our adoption fund. By buying the book you have put us one step closer to our goal of adoption.

Some editions will unpack themselves, not available
in all areas, restrictions apply

Taste the Purple is the first in a series of fundraisers that we will be doing in order to raise money. Here is more information on how you can buy Taste the Purple.

Adoption not Abortion

There is one common thread about adoption and abortion, almost everyone has the same feeling about them.  No one I know likes abortion.  I am not making an argument in favor or against it, people who know me know my personal position on the issue.  But people will debate and take strong positions over if abortion should be legal or restricted or illegal, yet no one will say that it is good thing.  Of this there is agreement.  Conversely on adoption, almost everyone likes adoption.  Not many people have done it, but when people here that you are pursuing it, you get kind words of support.

Now combining these two issues is an important thing to do, they need to work hand in hand.  Every adopted child is one less child aborted.  No matter where you stand on the abortion issue this is something you can't argue against.  There are many families who want to adopt a child, Chris and myself as one of them.  And I hope that if a woman is thinking about abortion to be told that there are many people like us who can't have children of our own and want to raise a family.

For me I see it as a win-win-win situation.  This is where open adoption comes into play.  The first win is for Chris and myself as we get the opportunity to raise a child and give them all the love and opportunity that we can provide for them.  The second win is for the birth mother who will know that her child is going to get the upbringing that she may have not been able to provide for the child.  And since she will become part of our family, and hopefully her family too, she will be a part of the child's life and not have the mystery of where her child went.  And most importantly is the third win, the child gets to be born and live.

The Pain of Waiting

Sitting in a recital listening to kids play and just wondering if I will get that chance. The chance to watch my child play piano after being taught to play by their Grandmother. The chance to watch my child perform for family and friends. The only way I can get that chance is by the miracle of open-adoption and with the help of family and friends.

Some days it seems that we are so far away from adoption and other days it seems so close. Right now Adam and I are in the middle of the open-adoption process. After a very long time we are now completing the home-study phase

At this moment I am overwhelmed with the process and how much we have to still do. The amount of stuff that I have to juggle in order to make this happen sometimes overwhelm me. I have to find a way to raise almost $20,000 before we can finalize the adoption; find someone to hire me knowing that all of the money that I make will go to our adoption; writing blog posts about our adoption and trying keep a balance between light and fun and emotional; planning fund-raising events; and keeping up with the paperwork that the adoption agency requires.

For example we have to come up with  four to five thousand to enter the adoption pool. How you ask? The answer: I have no idea but somehow we will find a way. That is what Adam and I always do: find a way. I know that in the end it will all be worth it when I hold my child in my arms. But why does getting there have to be so hard....

The Process: home-study vist

Now back to our journey that will hopefully end in an adoption.

Our home-study seemed to go well. The person from Open Adoption and Family Services came out to our house to interview us and to do a walk through.  She had a check list that struck me as funny since some of the things were: do you have running water; do you have heat; do you have a working phone. Yes of course we do and in my opinion you should not consider adding to your family if you do not.

The only things Adam and I have to add is a smoke detector in the kids room. There is one right outside but the law requires it to be inside the room so Adam can add one for  little cost.  We also have to write out an escape plan. Our house is pretty straight forward but since it is required it will be done.

Turns out that the home-study visit was compressed in other words a couple of visits were combined into one since Adam and I have been waiting for so long to meet with the counselor from Open Adoption and Family Services. I have to admit that it is freaky to watch someone write down everything you say and still manage to ask follow up questions. I did get used to quickly but still.

The questions were not that bad even-though they cover your life; your career; your relationships with friends and family and anything else that you can think of. The questions all needed to be asked because a birth parent may use this document as a resource for whether or not they will choose you to raise their child.  A birth parent may see the home-study before they meet you and that is why it must be so detailed.

Knowing and understanding that did not make answering the questions easier it made it possible to know that it was going to be used for a good cause. That cause is the writing of the home-study and hopefully will end in an adoption for Adam and I.

The home-study being finalized means that Adam and I are one step closer to pool entry.  Wow those are scary words to write.

So now is the time to remind you to please purchase your copy of Taste the Purple.

Where Will Our Child Be From?

 

There are children all over the world who need love. You see famous entertainers travel to the far reaches of the world to adopt a child and bring them back to America. Many agencies are setup to do international adoption. Many people adopt from poorer nations in Europe, Asia, Africa, and South America and bring the child to our culture giving them opportunities that they would have never gotten if they had stayed in their nation.

I believe that any child who needs love and is adopted, no matter where they are from, is a wonderful thing. But my wife and I have always held the belief that while we recognize that there are children all over the globe who need love, there are many here in our own country. And not only that, but many here in our part of the country, in our state, in our community. Yes I want to help people all over the world, but my wife and I feel that we should take care of children in our community first. Then we can worry about the rest of the country and then the world.

One of the reasons why we chose our adoption agency is that they only do adoptions from Oregon and Washington. This allows us to give a child love and a better opportunity in life here in our own community. It also helps promote an open adoption since the birth mother and family will most likely live in our state or close enough to get there by car. This is better for the child, which when you boil it down, is the most important thing of all.

Taste the Purple aka How can you help

Many of you have been wondering what you can do to help us. One thing that you can do is buy Adam's new book: Taste the Purple. All royalties will go directly to our adoption fund.

The novel is a comedy that is loosely based on Adam's experiences as a technician and mostly from the bizarre things in his mind.  Those of you who know Adam will not be surprised at what he writes, but you will find it very enjoyable.

Here is the official description of the novel:

In a world of violent mimes, mass protests against the metric system and freelance arsonists comes the story of a man tormented by abstract nightmares and dealing with the frustration and chaos of his job. He dreams of marrying the boss's daughter so he can fire all of his co-workers. But just before he can achieve his dream a group of insane Bulgarian investors buy the company. Their goal is to build a purple ray gun to defeat a giant blender that is chasing the new owner.

Taste the Purple is so much more than a comedy, it answers the powerful questions of our time like does the right shoe go better with butter? Or does the angry blender break his pencil? Or if oranges were blue, would they still be called oranges? Confused? You should be. Read Taste the Purple to understand all of this and to find the meaning of life* 

*Disclaimer - The meaning of life may or may not be inside this novel.

Taste the Purple can be bought 

Paperback - Create Space 

Or:

E-book -Amazon Kindle

Or:

E-book - Barnes and Noble Nook

Or buy all three!

Although the price is lower on Amazon for the paperback, if you purchase at Create Space we get a much bigger royalty.  Please let as many people you know about the book and post comments on the above websites.

What Is Family?

As my wife and I continue our journey towards adopting a child, one thing that we are hoping for is that the birth parents will become part of our extended family. Since we moved to Oregon eighteen years ago our extended family has continued to grow. This was due to very little of my wife's family living here at that time which was only her sister and none of mine. Being the social butterflies that we are, we quickly found new friends that we became very close with. People who were more than friends, friends who became our family.

I have commonly stated that if you come over to our house for Thanksgiving you are now a member of our family. Over the years we have grown our family with our close friends for holidays and gatherings. It seems so natural to be with our added family that sometimes you have to think if there is a traditional bond such as blood or marriage? And then you realize that it doesn't matter. Your family is who you choose to be with.

When I found out what open adoption was I realized that this is what we have been doing for years. Adding people to our family who we're not traditionally related to us is not a alien concept. So when asked by the adoption agency, will there be a problem with having people not related to you become part of your family? My answer was that I have been practicing open adoption long before I even knew I was doing it.

Since we will have an open adoption, adding more people to our extended family is not going to be a problem. In fact I embrace it, just means I can get a bigger turkey for Thanksgiving!

The Process: Application and home-study

Adam and I knew it would a challenge to adopt considering our ages (40ish) and my health but I never dreamed the paperwork would wear me down, take so long and be so personal.

Here is a partial list of what our agency required to process our application.

• Applications Forms: (Please keep a computer copy of all your forms)
• Intake Form (one per applicant)
• General Release of Information (one per applicant)
• Health History Form (one per applicant)
• Grievance Policy

What this does not cover is the time that it takes to pull this stuff together and the reading that was required. I understand that this is all done to keep the best interests of the child in mind but it gets overwhelming sometimes. This does not cover the cost of the application process and the interviews that we did before we were accepted by the agency.

After our application was accepted then we entered the home-study phase. That is the phase were your adoption counselor looks at every area of your life to make sure that you would make a good adoptive parent. In fairness the agency needs to make sure that you are adopting for the right reasons and that you will have the money to complete the adoption.  The amount and length of paperwork just amazed me.  Below is a partial list of forms that Adam and I had to complete in order to begin our home-study

• Acknowledgment of Adoption Assistance Availability
• Authorization for Credit Background Check
• A signed copy of current Contract for Adoption Services
• Five Reference Letters (four of which need to be non-relative)
• Doctor’s Report Forms(s)
• Financial Form
• Adoptive Family Information Form
• Autobiography
• Copy of most recent Federal Income Tax Return (1040)
• Copy of Government Issued Photo Identification
• Copy of Birth Certificate
• Copy of Marriage Certificate (if applicable)

Once the forms were turned in and the reference letters sent to the agency. We have no idea what anyone said but I assume that it was good since we were allowed to keep on the home-study path. 

The point of listing all of the forms that are required before the application and home-study can even begin is not to bore you but show what adoptive parents have to do. I remember complaining to a friend: look at the forms I have to fill out and the information I have to provide. Her response back was pretty quick: of-course you do someone is giving you their child to raise. Which was true.

How To Pick An Adoption Agency

I will admit that adoption is a very scary and confusing thing.  It's not like going to the store and buying a can opener, look amongst the shelves, open the boxes, check out the options and then take one home.  I know adopting a child is not the same thing, nor should it be.  But to most people they don't understand the time and work it takes to first get there and then to go through the process.  They think you drive over to the child outlet store, pick one off a shelf (relax they're padded) and get it scanned at the register.  Although this would be neat, I think they refer to this as the black market.

To take a more serious tone, adoption is generally done when a couple is unable to have children.  My wife had a few health issues.  Those who know us will remember those times.  I think it's best for her to describe them in a separate post.  But she has recovered since having her alive and healthy is the most important thing, and now we want to start a family.

After the aneurysm we started to discuss the idea of adoption and were feeling comfortable with it. Three years ago we started to look around on the web about the process.  Shortly after I was laid off and then the cancer diagnosis.  During her recovery I did research on adoption agencies since they are the best method of adopting a child.  As you can imagine there are a lot a legal requirements that come with the process.  If you go it alone you need to have an attorney to do the paperwork and you will have to find someone to give the required classes and home study interviews.  Then you will need to find someone who is looking to adopt.  Unless you're an attorney and know someone who wants you to raise their child, this is a lot of work especially for someone who doesn't know what to do.

I looked up different adoption agencies in Oregon.  Almost all of them had a web site so I could read up on them.  Many are through different churches.  While I have no objection to this and glad to see that they do this, almost all of the religious ones expect for you to raise the child practicing their religion.  I know there is no law requiring this if we adopt a child through a religious agency, but I don't feel right adopting on false promises.  They have a right to request this and I believe in respecting their wishes.

Other agencies deal with foreign adoption, something that we both agreed that we don't want.  Yes I know there are many children around the globe who need a family, but there are many here in this country too.  Especially in our own communities.  I believe that you take care of where you live first then worry about helping others.  That and the cost is much, much more, not to mention dealing with international laws.

The one that seemed to look the best was Open Family Adoption Services.  They are based in Oregon and Washington and deal with children locally, that's one major plus.  They are not affiliated with any church so they don't have a requirement of what religion they want you to raise the child.  Now we're at plus two.  The one requirement they want is for the adoption to be open.

Before I researched adoption, I did not know what an open adoption was.  At first I thought this isn't a good idea.  Then I started to do research and found out that I was wrong.  Adoptions in the past were commonly closed, meaning that the birth mother gave the child up for adoption and would never see the child again.  She wouldn't have any knowledge where the child was living, what it was named, no information at all.  The child was usually not told either or if they knew, had no way of easily finding who their parents were.  This created problems for the children who grew up not knowing who their birth parents were and not knowing why they were put up for adoption.  The birth mother, and sometimes the birth family, generally never had the opportunity to explain why they put their child up for adoption and wouldn't see them grow up.

The idea of an open adoption is simple.  The birth mother picks the family that she wants to see her child raised in.  The family meets with the birth mother and after counseling and getting to know each other, decides to have her child adopted by the family she picks.  After the child is born, the birth mother, and hopefully members of her family and the birth father and his family, will stay involved with the child.  The important thing to note here is that the child is not going to be co-parented, the birth family will be a part of the family just like relatives.  Agreements are usually made up and the birth mother will see the child at least three or four times a year such as on birthdays, holidays and other events.

This has been done for many years now and has worked very well.  While it is never easy for a mother to give up her child, knowing that the child is being loved and being provided the life that she couldn't give does soften the blow.  The child also benefits because they grow up knowing who the birth mother is, and hopefully the birth father as well.  There is no mystery, they know why they were put up for adoption, they realized that they are loved and when they are adults they don't have to try and find their birth parents, they've known them their entire lives.

The one concern I had was will my child look at me as the parent or the biological parent as the real parent.  I though about it and I realized something.  When you are born you don't remember anything. After a few years your brain starts to function better and you know who your parents are.  They are the ones who feed you, clothe you, love you, are there for you.  You love your parents and they love you back.  Think back to your childhood and growing up with your parents.  If you were then told that you were not biologically related to them, would you no longer think of them as your parents?  Of course not, they are your parents because they raised you.  Adopted children don't look at the birth parents as their parents, they know their moms and dads are the ones who raise them.

Once I realized this was a good idea, I knew I had found the right adoption agency for us.  They cover everything from the 12 hour class required by state law, the home-study, finding birth mothers, counseling and help with the legal paperwork.  Since I know that we haven't done this before and will most likely never do it again, it is much easier to have someone guide you along who has done this for years.  That is how I picked our adoption agency and I know I made the right decision.

Christiana's Story

One of the forms that Adam and I had to fill out was a health form. It was pretty straight forward till I got to the operation and hospitalization part on my form.

Here is what part of it looked like:

Hospitalizations/Operations: Date and Description
August 2008  aneurysm
September 2011 hysterectomy

Does not look too bad if you consider that I was over 40 at the time and then you look at the time span and you realize that all of that happened within five years of each other.  That is when you realize that a lot has happened to me in that five years.

Here is the background story I had ruptured aneurysm almost six years ago.  One thing about the aneurysm is that it could have killed me in fact 80% of those that have the type that I do end up not making it.  I recovered fully but was told that I should not get pregnant since my body could not handle the stress.

I had a full hysterectomy three years later and when a biopsy was done cancer was found.  I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer Stage One C which meant that cancer was found in both of my fallopian tubes and both ovaries.

My health is the main reason why Adam and I have chosen to grow our family through adoption.

The Start

Adam and I are starting our journey to adoption. Well not exactly starting. We have been on this journey for about a year and a half and as we complete our home-study it is becoming a reality instead of a dream.