A feel good story

This has been a long week for both Adam and I. After realizing that I needed a post for today I ran across this story on facebook. A mom who chose life for her daughter granted not in a way that anyone would prefer but she chose life.

Enjoy the story and have great Memorial Day Weekend.

Now for something completely different

During this process Adam & I have looked to you to donate money to our adoption fund and many of you have by buying Adam's Book. Thank you so much for that.

Last weekend I was reading a post in a Facebook group that I belong to where someone asked how do I increase my income. Many different viable options were offered and that is when it occurred to me that the best way to find work is to network.  Someone must know of jobs out there that I can apply for, or know of someone looking for employees.  All of the money that I make will go towards our adoption fund.  I'm applying for jobs right now and hoping to get something soon.  But if anyone knows of anything please let me know.

Misconceptions about Open Adoption

As Adam and I go further in the adoption process we are answering questions about what open-adoption actually is and how does it work. Whenever I want to define something I start with a definition. Dictionary.com has a good definition "open adoption is arrangement in which contact is maintained or allowed between a child's adoptive and biological parents." Keep in mind that every case is different and contact will vary.

The only thing missing from every definition that I found was love. All I could sense was fear: will the child know who my real parents are; will the child understand the difference; will the child suffer because of open-adoption.  The answer to all of the questions revolves around love.

The adoptive parents are the real parents. They are the parents that are around the child everyday; they are the parents that help them when things go wrong and celebrate when things go right; they are the parents that are cheering at little league games. The birth-parents are important because they can help a child understand why they have brown eyes when mom and dad don't.

My favorite: will the child suffer or be teased because of being adopted? Will my child suffer, not if I can help it. I always want to question someone who says that a child will suffer because of open adoption? What will the child suffer from? The answer is usually: not knowing who the real parents are? My answer to them: We are the real parents. With a strong open adoption the child will know the birth parents.  But most of all a child can not have too much love and that is what adoption equals.

Adam and I have decided that our child will be raised with love, honor, integrity, honesty and courage. Hate is something that has to be taught the default is love. When you raise a child with love that is what the child will seek out in life.

The only that I can say is when you chose open adoption you chose to give someone the gift of raising your child. There is a perception that the birth-parent can say: Thanks for raising junior for the past six years but I want him back now. That is not true I don't know about all 50 states but in Oregon an adoption is final when the papers are signed. The birth-parents can change their mind until those papers are signed but once they are signed it is done. I find it astounding that someone would believe that it would be okay to give me a child and then take it back years later just because they could. I am so thankful for the laws that do not allow that.

As I am typing this I am reminded of a quote by Martin Luther King Jr who said: "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." When we shine a light on open-adoption then and only then will the fear go away.  Along with telling our story of adoption it is our goal to shine a light where there is no light and drive the fear of open-adoption out.

News

Adam and I have registered with Adopt Together which is a fundraising site that just works with those who are adopting.  One important note about contributions, donations can be marked as anonymous or private if the donor chooses.  Either way we thank you for your generosity.

In other exciting news, this afternoon Adam and I had an interview with a reporter from the Forest Grove Leader who is working on a story about adoption. It was an enjoyable experience and I can't wait to read the article. She is interviewing other couples about adoption and will be meeting with us again.