I've learned that when you least expect something to happen, that's when it will happen. I know that isn't very profound, but I have found that life works that way. Sometimes what happens is good, but many times it isn't. A few weeks ago one of these moments happened that was good.
As many of you know, we have been trying to adopt for a long time now. We first decided in 2012 to start the process. Over the next two years we saved money, worked on all of out paperwork, background checks, and a homestudy before we entered the adoption pool. When you enter the pool you are waiting for a birthmother to choose you as parents. There is no set time, or any guarantee that you will be chosen. I believe the current average wait time at our adoption agency is about eighteen months.
We entered the pool about three years ago. Over that time we have been waiting. Occasionally we would get a screening email, basically an email listing certain risks that the birthmother may have, such as has taken some drugs during the pregnancy. Please note that all drugs are not the same and don't always affect the pregnancy as negatively as others. When these emails would show up, usually on average about one every month or two, we would talk it over and decide to allow our family book to be presented to the birthmother.
In early November one such email arrived. When these emails are sent out you have a window of time to respond. Sometimes it is as short as a few hours, other times you may have a few days. The wife and I talked it over, and as we always do told the adoption agency that we would like our family book to be presented. The adoption agency informs you that unless you are chosen, you won't be hearing from them again. This is due to high number of screenings, they are unable to follow up with each family. So just like the past few years, I send off an acknowledgement not expecting to hear anything else.
A week and a half later I am at work in a meeting. Out of habit, and not to be rude, I silence my phone and leave it in my pocket. It was a short meeting that was less than a half an hour, but when I checked my phone at the end of the meeting I noticed that I had gotten four phone calls, a voicemail and an email from the adoption agency. This is where the confusion starts.
I listen to the voicemail and it was someone from the adoption agency asking me to call them back. The email was actually another screening for a child that will be born in February. The wife called saying that we were chosen. Now I am trying to absorb everything that is going on. It wasn't easy.
The email that arrived was completely unrelated, but have to admit the timing was perfect. I was able to reach the person who contacted me from the adoption agency, get the wife on the call, and she verified that there is a birthmother who is due in December who wants us to be the parents. The first step is to schedule a meeting with her to see if we all feel comfortable with the idea of having an adoption and see if we can form a relationship. Since this is going to be an open adoption, this is a very important step.
Two weeks later we all met. We spent and hour talking in the office getting to know one another. Then we went off and got some coffee and spent more time talking. We all left feeling good about our decisions. The birthmother wants us to be the parents, and we want to build a connection with her and raise the child.
Our next meeting is coming up this Wednesday December 6th. This will be more of a formal meeting to go over details and get ready for the birth which is tentatively scheduled for December 10th. After the next meeting, another update will be posted to let you know what will be happening next. And as always, thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.
