A feel good story

This has been a long week for both Adam and I. After realizing that I needed a post for today I ran across this story on facebook. A mom who chose life for her daughter granted not in a way that anyone would prefer but she chose life.

Enjoy the story and have great Memorial Day Weekend.

News

Adam and I have registered with Adopt Together which is a fundraising site that just works with those who are adopting.  One important note about contributions, donations can be marked as anonymous or private if the donor chooses.  Either way we thank you for your generosity.

In other exciting news, this afternoon Adam and I had an interview with a reporter from the Forest Grove Leader who is working on a story about adoption. It was an enjoyable experience and I can't wait to read the article. She is interviewing other couples about adoption and will be meeting with us again.

Still waiting

It seems like we are in the hurry up and wait mode. Hurry up and raise money so that we can enter the adoption pool. But wait till the home-study is done. I know that it takes time for things to happen and that our counselor at the agency has other clients so we wait for her to finish.

While we are waiting here some random thoughts.I thought I wasn't going to write about this but have changed my mind. I read something on facebook that made me want to throw up: a woman in England is having an abortion because she wants to be on a television show and having a child would interfere with that. Are you kidding me? Maybe you should have thought about that before having sex. I can't believe that we have become a society that thinks it is okay to abort your child so that you can be on television. My hope is that she will not get to be the star that she wants to be but who knows.

My next random thought: I'm so glad that people are willing to chose adoption over abortion because that means that one day I will be a mom.

O is for open

Christiana has been participating the A to Z challenge which challenges you to write a post about each letter of the alphabet for the month of April. If you take Sunday's off that gives you 26 days. Here is the entry for O. 

O is for open. Open is a interesting word since it can be used in some many ways

1. is the store open yet?
2. what time does the library open?
3. will there be an open bar at your party?
4. what is open adoption?

The last one is the one that I want to focus on right now. My husband and I are in the middle of an open adoption which according to Wikipedia is: Open adoption is a form of adoption in which the biological and adoptive families have access to varying degrees of each other's personal information and have an option of contact. That is a good definition and one that I would support.

I have to be honest and say that sometimes people who I speak to do not understand why we would want an open adoption. Here are some of the questions and my answers.

• Won't it cause problems in the future they ask?  Nope. It is up to you to make sure that it doesn't.
• Won't the birth parents end making decision for the child? Nope. The adoptive parents are the parents and they make all decisions.  If they wish the can consult the birth parents but it is up to the adoptive parents to make the final decision.
• How will the child know who real parents are? This is the one that bothers me the most: A child's real parents are the one who loves and takes care of the child. That to me is the definition of a parent.

For more information about our adoption click this FB page: https://www.facebook.com/mayeradoption

This post first appeared on the Magic Bag of Words blog: http://wp.me/p3hOqT-3K 

Thank you

Adam using his sharpest crayon

Remember to precharge the book
before reading

Thank you to all who have bought Taste the Purple a novel by Adam Mayer. All of the proceeds of the sale go directly to our adoption fund. By buying the book you have put us one step closer to our goal of adoption.

Some editions will unpack themselves, not available
in all areas, restrictions apply

Taste the Purple is the first in a series of fundraisers that we will be doing in order to raise money. Here is more information on how you can buy Taste the Purple.

The Pain of Waiting

Sitting in a recital listening to kids play and just wondering if I will get that chance. The chance to watch my child play piano after being taught to play by their Grandmother. The chance to watch my child perform for family and friends. The only way I can get that chance is by the miracle of open-adoption and with the help of family and friends.

Some days it seems that we are so far away from adoption and other days it seems so close. Right now Adam and I are in the middle of the open-adoption process. After a very long time we are now completing the home-study phase

At this moment I am overwhelmed with the process and how much we have to still do. The amount of stuff that I have to juggle in order to make this happen sometimes overwhelm me. I have to find a way to raise almost $20,000 before we can finalize the adoption; find someone to hire me knowing that all of the money that I make will go to our adoption; writing blog posts about our adoption and trying keep a balance between light and fun and emotional; planning fund-raising events; and keeping up with the paperwork that the adoption agency requires.

For example we have to come up with  four to five thousand to enter the adoption pool. How you ask? The answer: I have no idea but somehow we will find a way. That is what Adam and I always do: find a way. I know that in the end it will all be worth it when I hold my child in my arms. But why does getting there have to be so hard....

What Is Family?

As my wife and I continue our journey towards adopting a child, one thing that we are hoping for is that the birth parents will become part of our extended family. Since we moved to Oregon eighteen years ago our extended family has continued to grow. This was due to very little of my wife's family living here at that time which was only her sister and none of mine. Being the social butterflies that we are, we quickly found new friends that we became very close with. People who were more than friends, friends who became our family.

I have commonly stated that if you come over to our house for Thanksgiving you are now a member of our family. Over the years we have grown our family with our close friends for holidays and gatherings. It seems so natural to be with our added family that sometimes you have to think if there is a traditional bond such as blood or marriage? And then you realize that it doesn't matter. Your family is who you choose to be with.

When I found out what open adoption was I realized that this is what we have been doing for years. Adding people to our family who we're not traditionally related to us is not a alien concept. So when asked by the adoption agency, will there be a problem with having people not related to you become part of your family? My answer was that I have been practicing open adoption long before I even knew I was doing it.

Since we will have an open adoption, adding more people to our extended family is not going to be a problem. In fact I embrace it, just means I can get a bigger turkey for Thanksgiving!