The Process: home-study vist

Now back to our journey that will hopefully end in an adoption.

Our home-study seemed to go well. The person from Open Adoption and Family Services came out to our house to interview us and to do a walk through.  She had a check list that struck me as funny since some of the things were: do you have running water; do you have heat; do you have a working phone. Yes of course we do and in my opinion you should not consider adding to your family if you do not.

The only things Adam and I have to add is a smoke detector in the kids room. There is one right outside but the law requires it to be inside the room so Adam can add one for  little cost.  We also have to write out an escape plan. Our house is pretty straight forward but since it is required it will be done.

Turns out that the home-study visit was compressed in other words a couple of visits were combined into one since Adam and I have been waiting for so long to meet with the counselor from Open Adoption and Family Services. I have to admit that it is freaky to watch someone write down everything you say and still manage to ask follow up questions. I did get used to quickly but still.

The questions were not that bad even-though they cover your life; your career; your relationships with friends and family and anything else that you can think of. The questions all needed to be asked because a birth parent may use this document as a resource for whether or not they will choose you to raise their child.  A birth parent may see the home-study before they meet you and that is why it must be so detailed.

Knowing and understanding that did not make answering the questions easier it made it possible to know that it was going to be used for a good cause. That cause is the writing of the home-study and hopefully will end in an adoption for Adam and I.

The home-study being finalized means that Adam and I are one step closer to pool entry.  Wow those are scary words to write.

So now is the time to remind you to please purchase your copy of Taste the Purple.

What Is Family?

As my wife and I continue our journey towards adopting a child, one thing that we are hoping for is that the birth parents will become part of our extended family. Since we moved to Oregon eighteen years ago our extended family has continued to grow. This was due to very little of my wife's family living here at that time which was only her sister and none of mine. Being the social butterflies that we are, we quickly found new friends that we became very close with. People who were more than friends, friends who became our family.

I have commonly stated that if you come over to our house for Thanksgiving you are now a member of our family. Over the years we have grown our family with our close friends for holidays and gatherings. It seems so natural to be with our added family that sometimes you have to think if there is a traditional bond such as blood or marriage? And then you realize that it doesn't matter. Your family is who you choose to be with.

When I found out what open adoption was I realized that this is what we have been doing for years. Adding people to our family who we're not traditionally related to us is not a alien concept. So when asked by the adoption agency, will there be a problem with having people not related to you become part of your family? My answer was that I have been practicing open adoption long before I even knew I was doing it.

Since we will have an open adoption, adding more people to our extended family is not going to be a problem. In fact I embrace it, just means I can get a bigger turkey for Thanksgiving!